Daily Life with an Interspecies Exchange Coordinator
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: Drabble Collection. Smith ends up with her own harem of monster guys when dangerous or otherwise difficult-to-place males start getting attached to her. Written for Chelle.
1. Daily Life with Failing at Your Job

**DISCLAIMER: MonMusu belongs to Okayado.**

 **A/N: This chapter was written for Caesar's Palace "Decorate the Palace" challenge, prompt: write about someone with an unusual job.**

~ Daily Life with an Interspecies Exchange Coordinator ~

"Don't worry, I'm sure it will be fine," Smith attempted to reassure her nervous young charge. "This particular host family has already successfully completed two intercultural exchanges, with a zombie and a mandragora, each for a one-year duration. You'll be in good hands."

"But they're probably not expecting someone like me," the lightweight breed centaur whispered, curling further in on himself.

He was so nervous that Smith couldn't help reaching out to pat him on the head as if he were a small child.

"Shiloh-kun, you'll be fine."

* * *

"I know the first placement didn't work out," Smith said, "but this host family specifically requested a centaur. So I'm sure it will be fine."

Shiloh didn't reply, but she could tell from the way his chin dropped and the nervous swish of his tail that he wasn't optimistic about his new host family either.

"It's okay to be afraid," the interspecies exchange coordinator told him. "But it's okay to trust people sometimes, too, you know."

"The person who put that on their application was probably hoping for a female," he mumbled, his voice so quiet that she almost couldn't make out what he'd said.

* * *

The third host family didn't even let him in the door before outright rejecting the placement. Shiloh wasn't too disappointed with the outcome. He couldn't be; he'd expected it the moment the coordinator had told him that this family had specifically requested a _male_ centaur.

As the two of them walked back to the transport vehicle, Smith sighed and said, "I don't understand why they were so against taking you in when they specifically asked..." She trailed off at the sound of the centaur's sarcastic snort.

"Well, I'm hardly a shining example of my species," Shiloh said. "They were expecting a centaur _knight-warhorse_ , not a skinny, dorky-" His voice dropped to a whisper. "- _pony_."

He glanced at Smith and saw her looking back at him, eyebrows furrowed in concentration - as if she was having a hard time reconciling what he'd said with her own opinion of him.

"You're the only human I've met who has seen me as anything beyond a failure of meeting the stereotypes of my species," he continued, a light blush dusting his cheeks. "Why can't I just come live at your house?"

"Oh..." she said slowly, as if the thought hadn't occurred to her before. "I suppose you could, if you're sure that's what you want." She smiled sheepishly. "It's a little crowded at the moment, though. I had to have a second pool put in due to the differences in salinity requirements between the two aquatic species I'm currently hosting."

~oOo~


	2. Daily Life with a Nudist

**A/N: This chapter was written for Caesar's Palace Emotion challenge, prompt: playful.**

~ Daily Life with an Interspecies Exchange Coordinator ~

A small pod of dolphin merpeople had applied to the Exchange Program, and Smith had quite easily found host families for the three females, but the male was proving a bit harder to place. While dolphins were known for being naturally happy and playful, and were generally easy to find an accepting host family for, this one had a few behavioral quirks which made it difficult to find a good match for him.

Finneas was quite a bit more rambunctious than his sisters, and had an unfortunate habit of not wearing any clothes. He was such a brat about it that Smith ended up calling in the MON squad for backup to help her deal with him.

"Finn-kun, _please_ put your clothes on so you can meet with your host family!" Tionishia begged, as Zombina attempted to wrestle the the dolphin into a Hawaiian shirt.

Manako hid behind the ogre, blushing heavily and covering her one eye with both hands. Doppel just stood in a corner snickering.

"Tio! Don't just stand there yelling at him, get over here and help me get this shirt on him!" Zombina yelled.

"I don't need clothes!" the dolphin merman protested, still struggling. "You can't even see anything! It's retracted!*"

"You do need to wear clothes. You're meeting your host family and you can't be outside without clothes due to public-decency laws," Smith explained.

Finn's gaze zeroed in on Doppel, and he pointed at her and shouted, "But she's not wearing clothes either, and she goes out in public like that!"

Everyone froze, then slowly turned their heads to stare at Doppel.

"Hey, don't look at me like that! This isn't even my real form!" the shapeshifter snapped. Then with a pop and a burst of smoke she transformed herself into an almost-perfect copy of Finn, except Doppel's eyes were still their original color and "he" was wearing a coconut bra and hula skirt.

Finneas pouted.

"I'm from California, not Hawaii," he said, apparently in protest of Doppel's choice of apparel.

Zombina and Tio saw that this was a perfect opportunity to get him into his shirt, since he was distracted. But the poor abused shirt couldn't take much more and when the zombie and ogre both grabbed onto it and pulled in not exactly the same direction, it ripped.

"Well, I guess he's not meeting his host family today after all," Smith said, sighing. "I need a nap..."

~oOo~

*real-world dolphin anatomy has the answer, so don't ask Lamia to explain this.


	3. Daily Life with Too Much Paperwork

**A/N: This chapter was written for Caesar's Palace Silver challenge, prompt: mundane.**

 **This continues directly from where chapter 2 left off.**

~ Daily Life with an Interspecies Exchange Coordinator ~

"It's okay!" Manako said, holding up a second shirt. "I thought something like this might happen so I brought an extra."

"Okay," Finneas said cheerfully. "I'm done fooling around now. If Rhino-san-"

"It's Tio, not Rhino," the ogre muttered indignantly.

"-would be so kind as to put me back in my wheelchair, I'll let you dress me." He paused, and none of the females in the room liked the gleam that came into his eyes. "But only if _she_ puts it on me." And he pointed straight at Smith.

He probably thought that she would be the least likely to actually agree to that, but she replied coolly, "Fine with me."

"Hey," Tio said, as she scooped up the dolphin merman and carried him back over to the corner where his wheelchair sat. "He's not slimy!"

"Dolphins are mammals," Smith informed her. "They don't need a mucus coating to survive out of the water like other mer species. Oh, and be careful not to stick your hand in his-"

The coordinator was cut off by a shrill screech from the dolphin as Tio accidentally did exactly what Smith was attempting to warn her against, and put her hand on the blowhole located on his upper back.

"I'm _sensitive_ there!" Finneas cried out, swatting Tio with his tail as she deposited him in the wheelchair.

"I'm sorryyyyy," Tio whined, twin waterfalls of embarrassed tears flowing freely down her face.

And then, as promised, he let Smith put the shirt on him with no fuss, and they ended up being only half an hour late to deliver him to his host family. Upon meeting the family, however...

"You seem like nice people," Finn said to prospective host family. "But I've decided that I want to stay with my sweetheart, so I won't be going with you. Sorry."

He didn't sound particularly sorry, and for a moment Smith was confused about who in the world he was referring to as "sweetheart"... until his arm snaked around her waist possessively.

* * *

Back at her office, Smith glared at the dolphin over the mountains of paper that were practically overflowing the desktop.

"Look at how much more paperwork I have to do since you rejected your placement with that host family," the coordinator whined.

"Shut up, it's your own fault!" Zombina yelled from somewhere deeper in the room. "And why do WE have to help you with the paperwork?"

"You're behind on your own paperwork, too..." Manako put forth hesitantly.

"You shut up, Big Eye!" Zombina snapped, causing Manako to run out of the room crying.

"Now look what you've done..." Tio scolded the zombie.

Smith sighed and laid her head down on the spot on her desk that was free of papers.

"I don't get paid enough for this," she said, and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

When Smith woke up, the office was empty except for her and Finn. The dolphin was practically bouncing in his seat and looked entirely too pleased with himself for some reason.

When he saw that she was awake, he said excitedly, "I helped with the paperwork! You want to keep me now, right?"

Smith looked at her desk and saw that the forms did indeed appear to all be filled out and ready to be filed. Then she looked at Finn's sparkly, hopeful eyes.

Well. How could she say no to that?

~oOo~


	4. Daily Life with Dirty Magazines

**A/N: This chapter was written for Caesar's Palace Emotion challenge, prompt: ashamed.**

~ Daily Life with an Interspecies Exchange Coordinator ~

It was Smith's day off and she was... ahem, _relaxing_ at home alone with a small stack of dirty magazines, most featuring good old human-male-on-human-female action, but just for kicks she also picked one which features extraspecies persons. The female models were the same two greater devils and one elder devil throughout the entire publication, with a variety of different males.

She was not surprised to find that one of the male models was a dolphin merman - since that species was just as notoriously amorous as their animal counterpart - but she found herself flipping past that particular spread quickly, not liking the thoughts it gave her of herself in a similar position with Finn.

Unfortunately, the next spread featured a centaur, and while he was a shining example of his infamously sturdy and warlike species, Smith could not look at this centaur without being reminded of Shiloh's self-deprecating words about being a failure of his species, and she didn't want to think about things like that _now_ , while she was trying to...

She quickly flipped to the next spread. Orcs.

She let out a quiet groan. Why did it have to be orcs? She wouldn't find that particularly arousing even if she weren't currently living with one who happened to have an adorable personality. And while Smith knew that her lack of physical attraction to orcs in general was nothing to be ashamed of, she couldn't help feeling a bit bad for lumping her poor sweet Bubba into the same category with the the more criminally-inclined members of his species that she'd had the misfortune to meet.

 _Please don't be a shark merman on the next page or I will throw this damn thing right in the trash_ , she prayed/threatened silently as she skipped past the orc section.

She'd made it to the middle of the magazine now, where there was a ten-page spread starring a lovely slim incubus. Very slim indeed...

Smith frowned as she examined the pictures more closely. The model's ribs were showing. But how could a _porn-star_ incubus be starving when his species fed on sexual satisfaction? Unless... he was an unwilling participant, being abused...

Well, there went her day off. This was more important. She had to get the investigation started right away.

~oOo~


	5. Daily Life with a Rescue Mission

**A/N: This chapter was written for Caesar's Palace Epic challenge, prompt: starved.**

~ Daily Life with an Interspecies Exchange Coordinator ~

As it turned out, all of the male models other than the orcs were being held against their will by the trio of devils who ran that particular porn studio. The devils had used their powers of hypnosis to keep the stronger males in line, and kept the rest bound and caged when not "in use".

There were no humans involved in the production of their magazine, so it was ambiguous as to whether human law enforcement officials had any right to interfere, but Smith's claim that making their product readily available to humans put them under the purview of human law would go unchallenged, because by the time the legality of her actions was questioned by a higher authority, the rescue mission would already be long over with.

* * *

Although his bindings were merely cheap rope from a human hardware store, Aristos did not have the strength to break free of them. The devils who kept him captive seemed to be under the impression that their photoshoots should be enough "food" for him that they did not actually need to feed him or even provide him with water... but in truth he was unable to draw nourishment from those sessions due to the cold, impersonal touch of his abusers.

Even other extraspecies did not seem to be aware that incubi and succubi fed off of the positive emotional energy generated by acts of physical love, rather than the physical contact in and if itself. Although they could also process calories as most species did, his species were more likely to subsist entirely on familial affection for the duration of their childhood.

Aristos was certain that he would not survive this imprisonment much longer. He'd been slowly starving to death for week now. He had never felt so weak before. He hardly had the strength to even open his eyes Surely his death was imminent.

He was drawn out of his morbid thoughts by the sound of a key scraping in a lock, followed by the sharp clack of high heels on the stone floor - sounds he'd come to dread. However, rather than being dragged from his cell by the rope binding his hands, he felt gentle fingers brush over his cheek.

"Still breathing, but he's in bad shape," an unfamiliar female voice murmured.

* * *

When Smith started to lift her hand from the incubus's cheek, his breath hitched and he turned his face into the touch. He was (quite literally) starved for affection and, she realized, even this small amount of contact could relieve his hunger somewhat.

"It's okay," she told him softly. "I'm going to untie you now, and we're going to get you out of here. It's alright. You're safe now."

She quickly picked apart the knots, then held both of his hands in one of hers while she unwound the rope from around his wrists. The way he curled his fingers around hers told her that he appreciated the contact.

~oOo~


End file.
